Eventually

I was looking at old pictures and came across some from a period of my life I can only vaguely recall. It was in the midst of that current turbulence four years ago, but my oh my, did it just spiral thereafter.

Don’t get me wrong. It isn’t all bad. Some pretty amazing things have happened from that time until now. Some things? I wish I could just dash back in time and warn her.
To tell her not to take certain directions. To take more gut feelings seriously.

To tell her to smile more and embrace everything quickly. To run when she walked.

But then again, now that I think about it. I took my own time to get here. Mistakes and all… earthquakes and all. We still made it to this very day. This position where I am in my pyjamas at 15hrs, working on 1,000 things but not letting any of them slip through the cracks.

If I had a chance to warn her… I would not.
Well, I would be tempted to… but I would not. I would want to let her watch it all unfold. Let her work through it without any help because I am proof that she CAN indeed do it.

So I would let her find out for herself. Live every moment the way she knows how. The genuineness of every second. She would probably hate me for not trying to help, but she would appreciate it eventually.