I stood in line and tried to hold it together as I waited to give my testimony. People said how God helped them succeed. And I was just happy to be there. It shook me to the core.
“Don’t cry, by all means, just say what you need to and move on.”
I saw the mic approach my shaky hands and I said what I had to in as few words as possible – but I could feel the acidic burn in my chest as I wanted to bawl on the mic in front of more than 50 strangers.
“Not here. Not now.” – I had to remind myself.
Very few would guess the weight of my testimony. They just heard the result of God’s goodness.
They will never know the mess associated with the journey. The pain that still hangs over us like a shadow. Tales of betrayal, anger, sleepless nights, silent prayers. They will never know the fear that lingered. The zoning out in meetings. The hushed screams during lunchtime at work.
I sat in my seat. I took a sip of water and struggled to steady my hands to place the bottle on my lips. I hoped nobody noticed. Then a single tear ran down my cheek. I hope somebody noticed.
So many unprocessed emotions and feelings met me at the door of my tear ducts, and they were not shy. We thank God either way. He provided when He said He would.
The end result is what people like to see it is the end of the journey, the finish line – however, the pain in between and the overcoming of that, is the true testimony.
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