I watched my bedroom door at 23:59 on the 17th of May 2021. The seconds felt like hours, and what would normally be a quiet night was a night crowded by hushed whispers from familiar and unfamiliar voices.
00:00.
The phone screen read ’18 May’ against my black wallpaper.
I looked at the door one last time, and the door handle didn’t move.
00:01 on the 18th of May 2021 is when I knew everything changed.
I knew I wouldn’t get a moment like what I was used to again. I knew I had to let go of the hope but hold onto the memory of it.
At 8 am, I wrapped the chitenge tightly around my waist and sang an emotionless birthday tune softly to myself in the mirror. Paralyzed by a feeling I still cannot describe.
I took a deep breath and told myself I could do it. I looked through her eulogy one last time. I forced myself to be ready. I didn’t have time not to be.
—
Since that moment, life threw jabs and twists I had to juggle. It felt like I was being attacked, and the changes that took place bent me into a shape I broke a few bones to fit into.
This is a short piece I came up with just now as I stared at the sky… 2 years later, the realization of the changes I’ve adapted to and handled on my own still shock me. I never knew I had it in me. But I did it and continue to.
Once you accept change as an inevitable phenomenon, you become unstoppable.
StepOne_101 